15 Ways to Celebrate and Honor Your Baby’s Birthday

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Who are you now that your baby is gone? That’s a question so many loss moms and dads silently wrestle with. I know I did. When my daughter Evelyn was stillborn at 40 weeks and 5 days, I didn’t just lose her—I lost the version of myself I thought I would always be. And yet, through the years, I’ve found small, tender, and sometimes even joyful ways to celebrate her. To parent her. To remind myself and the world that she matters.

If you’ve been wondering how to honor your baby’s birthday (or heaven day, or any milestone), this post is for you. There is no right or wrong way to do this—just your way, mama. Here are 15 ideas you can choose from, adapt, or save for later.

1. Decorate With a Theme That Reminds You of Them

Pick a theme, color, or symbol that feels like them. For us, it’s watermelons. Every year, we have watermelon cake and decorations because it reminds us of Evelyn.

2. Order or Bake a Birthday Cake

Let siblings be part of this if you have other children. They often love helping choose or decorate a cake for their brother or sister—it gives them a role in celebrating.

3. Light Candles and Make Wishes

You can do this on their actual birthday, every day of their birth month, or whenever it feels right. There’s no wrong way to keep this ritual.

4. Write a Letter Every Year

Tuck them into a keepsake box. Over time, this becomes a written love story between you and your baby.

5. Volunteer as a Family

Serve at an animal shelter, a food pantry, or somewhere that speaks to you. Channeling love outward can feel grounding.

6. Do Random Acts of Kindness

Pay for someone’s coffee, return carts, buy groceries for a stranger. Each small act is a way to ripple your baby’s love into the world.

7. Create a Baby Basket for a Newborn at the Hospital

Call ahead, explain, and drop off a gift basket for a family welcoming a baby that day. It’s a beautiful way to honor your own while blessing another.

8. Host a Day of Kindness

Turn it into a full-day family ritual: every place you go, ask yourselves, “How can we help here?”

9. Share Awareness Materials

Make or print cards with awareness messages, your baby’s name, and resources. Hand them out or leave them in community spaces.

10. Buy an Outfit They’d Wear Today

Put it in their keepsake box as a way of imagining who they might have been this year.

11. Memorial Jewelry

Order cremation jewelry, a piece with their birthstone, or something made with pressed flowers. Wearing them close can feel comforting.

12. Family Shirts

Have shirts made with their name, symbol, or a phrase. It’s both remembrance and awareness-building.

13. Donate to a Foundation

Choose a loss foundation or awareness organization and give in your baby’s name.

14. Have a Birthday Party

Invite close family or friends who get it. It doesn’t need to be big—just a space where your baby is celebrated.

15. Join a Loss Awareness 5K

These walks and runs are family-friendly and full of other parents who “get it.” You’ll meet others who speak the same language of love and loss.

 Tender Reminder

When I lost Evelyn, I realized I needed something to do. Ways to keep her alive in our every day. To treat her like I treat my other kids—loved, celebrated, remembered.

You don’t have to do all of these. You don’t have to do any of these. Maybe it takes years before you’re ready. Maybe you’ll try one and find it too painful. That’s okay. There is no timeline. There is no right or wrong way to grieve—or to celebrate.

It’s your family. Your baby. Your story. And just because your baby isn’t physically here doesn’t mean they are any less important. We carried them. We birthed them. We are still their parents.

Sending you so much love and light as you navigate your baby’s special day.
—Vallen 💛

I think you will enjoy this podcast episode, Creating a safe space to honor and connect with our babies. 

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💼 Sponsor Shoutout

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